ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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