I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
