Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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