How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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