she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
