im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
