areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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