I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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