I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
