Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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