we have officially lost it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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