In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
