This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Banned from zoo.
Again?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
