I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
