Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
