So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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