forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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