I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
