the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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