My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
