He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
