I'm eating all of the evidence.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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