When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
