I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
