WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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