why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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