I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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