Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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