check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
