Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The Olympian is in my bed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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