why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
