I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
