Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
