You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
