Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
