you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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