I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
