you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
