Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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