Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
