We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
