I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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