And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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