Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
