i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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