He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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