do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
