I CAN MOONWALK!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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