you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
