I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have fence marks all over my body
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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