Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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